Many of the questions I receive from guests are the same, and I have compiled some of the more frequent questions and my answers to them here. You can scan the following list of questions to see if they match some things you may be wondering. Of course, if you have any questions that are not answered here, I would be happy to hear from you.
What is Tantra?
Tantra is originally a set of texts or practices from Southeast Asia that has trickled into Western consciousness over the past few hundred years. Many people falsely believe Tantra to be a religion, or perhaps a sect of Hinduism, but the truth is more complex than that. Tantra is a philosophy and practice that stems from Hindu mysticism concerned with liberating oneself. It has taken many forms and has been practiced in many different ways over a long period of time, so it’s nearly impossible to nail down what Tantra really is.
For me, the Tantric practices I have been taught are used as a lens through which I see the world, using them to keep myself balanced, grounded…and, most of all, enjoying life. It is a yoga and a philosophy, including breathing exercises and an experience of one’s whole body.
In the Tantric lineage I am a part of, our focus is on the importance on the body, not the idea of transcendence of the physical. In addition, there is a deep respect for play, in that I have been taught to view everything we do is an experiment, and that healing and personal growth can be found through the joyful application of pleasure.
The question really is, what is Tantric sex?
Most people immediately think of sex when they think of Tantra. Frankly, I do. I find a lot of pleasure and play in sexuality and the erotic. If my Tantric philosophy is that pleasure is healing and that everything is an experiment, coupled with a focus on the body, it’s an easy step to recognize that sex is a powerful tool for pleasure, play and embodiment.
The other side of the coin, however, is that if we have a whole life full of pleasure and play, we can bring the same ecstatic joy that we find in sex to other parts of our life! We breathe, we eat, we work, we sleep in the same orgasmic pleasure that we have in sex. It certainly changes the paradigm we have around sex being something negative and/or specifically abour our parts.
Tantric sex is using pleasure to liberate ourselves so that we can live full and abundant lives.
What is a sacred intimate?
Ask anyone who identifies as a sacred intimate and they’ll give you a different answer. In general, a sacred intimate is someone who has a deep calling to bring intimacy to others to effect some sort of change in their life. Like pleasure, intimacy and love are powerful and healing. In a fast-paced world where a lot of intimacy and connection is lost in return for more productivity, a sacred intimate becomes important as someone who can bring that love and intimacy forth to meet the needs of an intimacy-starved society.
I consider myself a sacred intimate. I use touch – something many of us hunger for – and joy, pleasure and the erotic to increase intimacy between myself and another person to effect healing. A mentor of mine once said they “want to fall in love with their clients.” That is also my goal. Not in an emotionally attached way, but in a sense that your pleasure and highest potential is as important to me as my own while we are together. It will engender more trust, more intimacy, and therefore more healing and growth.
Still, other sacred intimates in my world are artists, interior decorators, sex educators, psychologists, and web designers. It’s less about the specific way sacred intimacy comes through, but more that there are people who are willing to channel that pleasure, love and nurturance for their clients through the work that they do.
What is Bondassage?
A session of Bondassage looks different for each person, because every guest comes in with their own desires, preferences and fantasies. It involves some power play in that you will wear my collar and I will instruct and guide you through the experience of heightened arousal and pleasure. It will include light bondage, some sensory play of various intensities, and erotic massage, among other things. I don’t want to spoil the surprise…but everything is meant to heighten your sensory experience, taking you over the edge of pleasure!
I am excited about Bondassage because the person created the brand and cleverly marketed it is trying to create a thriving community of practitioners and clients. I enjoy that there are many people who are understanding the power of positive, empowered sexuality and making it more accessible for people who want it. Especially the more fetishy, kinky fantasies that we are often told are evil or crazy. (They aren’t!)
What if I’m new to bondage and kink…is Bondassage for me?
Bondassage is especially for you! My experience as a kinky top is extensive, certainly, and I can remember back when I was first getting started. I had all these ideas and anxiety about trying them, but with the right Dominants and tops, I was able to try new things. They realized they didn’t want to break their toys – in this case, me – so that they could play with me again. They took me to an edge, certainly, but they made sure I came back in one piece and got a lot out of the experience.
I am both very experienced in BDSM as well as well trained in Bondassage. I thoroughly enjoy the work that I do, and look forward to introducing new people to their fantasies and bringing them through the experience in one piece and with much pleasure. A session of Bondassage will show you what you were fantasizing about and perhaps give you a taste of what more you would love to experience!
What if I have experience in BDSM and I don’t want an experience like Bondassage?
As I said, I am a Sensual Dominant who has extensive experience in kink. If you know precisely what you would like, I would be happy to negotiate a session that diverges from the protocol of Bondassage in order to focus specifically on your interests.
What about you? Will you get on the table for me?
I truly love to bring pleasure and experience to others, and so my focus will always be on you. However, I also enjoy being touched. While I will not get on the table or lose my focus on your bliss, I welcome respectful mutual touch. In fact, I like it a lot! We can discuss boundaries and I love teaching others how best to touch me.
What sorts of clients will you see?
Everyone is entitled to love, respect and pleasure! It is not only a manifest need we have as individuals, it is something that is fully abundant in our world but is often stifled. Therefore I welcome clients of all races, genders, sexual identities or orientation, size, ability or age (as long as you are over 18). My only requirement is that you come to me with respect and a willingness to openly communicate with me about your interests.
While I have no preference on whom I see — again, everyone is entitled to pleasure and intimacy — I find that my work is very rewarding with men who seek to explore their sexuality and deeper selves. Men are so often told not to express themselves, to perform or produce on schedule, that they are often the most blocked in the exploration of their erotic life.
Why do you prefer 90-minutes?
No, I’m not after more money. The time we spend together is important, and especially as I learn about your body and build more delicious intimacy, I want the time to truly immerse myself in your desires. An hour, especially for new guests, is not enough time to really experience the bliss. As we get to know each other, sometimes an hour is what we need to rekindle the passions.
But I can’t afford it! How can I see you?
First of all, time with me is exquisite and the investment in your pleasure is worth it.
However, I feel very committed to this work as a healing journey, an experience for people to deepen their relationship to themselves. If you have an interest in this work in an ongoing manner, and you want to see me regularly so we can take this journey together into your erotic development, I am very happy to help figure something out. I am willing to negotiate after the first session for scholarships or sliding scale in order to make our time together less stressful on your budget.
Do you have any reviews?
I do not. I like to keep our sessions together private, and ask you not to write reviews. If you would like to write a testimonial of our time together, not only is that a lovely gift for me to read, but also I would post it on my website for others to find.
What is your favorite thing to do with your guests?
Oh, beautiful bottoms! Adorable asses! I love playing with people’s butts! The anus is full of nearly as many pleasurable nerves as our genitals, and so many people have yet to experience the pure bliss of anal play. Not only do I love taking people on a journey in learning to experience and enjoy anal play in whatever capacity they will, I also love strapping on my dildo and doing some pegging, from erotically slow to the sweaty and passionate!
The other thing I love the most is to tease, to flirt, to let myself fall in love with each of my guests. Creating tension with teasing and sass, pitting my power against yours, creates a delicious friction that can spark greater intimacy so that our time together is that much more fun, delicious…and healing!
There’s that word again! Why are you so concerned about healing?
Because the world gets more and more difficult every day, growing larger and gaining in speed. I think that our global culture is growing faster and bigger than we, as individuals, can keep up. It’s creating more stress, more illness, more injustice. It can be sad, lonely and frightening for each of us at different times. It is truly my desire to see every person reach their ultimate potential, but everything from meaningless commercialism to rampant social problems makes it difficult for everyone. No matter who you are, reaching the pinnacle of your own growth and self-awareness can only improve the lives of other people, and I keep that in mind with each guest that comes into my studio.
That sounds bleak. So why “The Healing Power of Pleasure”?
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
In our world’s shadowy darkness, it is not more darkness and self-hate that will help us heal. It is pleasure that will connect with the light and the healing within us.